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About Literature / Artist Bowen "Bones" HumphreysMale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 10 Years
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The West :iconteen-wolf:Teen-wolf 2 0 Barbed :iconteen-wolf:Teen-wolf 0 0 Trapped in Stone :iconteen-wolf:Teen-wolf 0 0
The Death of the Moon
The moon fell to the ground with a sound that could only be described as sickening: as his rolls of fat hit the earth, they slapped together like the sound of a thousand babies being spanked, and that combined with the sloshing noise his innards made from his latest dinner of saturated fat smashing against its jelly-like encasing made a truly sickening sound: thusly, he died.
The police report said he died from a heart attack.  He was listening to Kelly Clarkson’s newest hit, “Life Would Suck Without You”.
Thousands came to his funeral, pulling up in chrome hummers and stretch limos, heaving their massive bodies from the driver’s seat and waddling to the recliners that were set up for the occasion.  The eulogy was short, and since the moon was too big to bury, they cremated him, using the fire to power the deep fryers making the after-funeral party and buffet.
They said he would be missed in the paper, but those who didn’t live in neon signs
:iconteen-wolf:Teen-wolf 0 0
Into the Clouds... :iconteen-wolf:Teen-wolf 0 1
Born 1964, Died 1998
I loved the sex, but hate her and everything about her, the baby smell, the crying, all the time.  Honey, she’s your problem now.
That’s what Jennifer’s mother said to her husband Rich, as she walked out the door to the pink convertible and the only black man in Idaho, who was wearing a fake pink cheetah fur bathrobe.  They roared down the long dirt driveway, sending bits of rock flying and leaving Rich sobbing in the doorway, his hands burnt from the surprise breakfast he was making her, as Jennifer cried disconsolately from the living room.
That was her first memory.
She was 16 months old.
She always had a good memory; it was her curse.  She remembered exactly the color of the Gatorade-green shag carpet that she stood on when she asked Jeff out in kindergarten.
He said he’d rather date a goat.
She said he was just afraid of commitment, turned, and dashed out the door crying.
Her father was always kind to her.  He gave her ev
:iconteen-wolf:Teen-wolf 1 0
I see
So many
Pictures of
Women in the
I smile
Because they’re all
Their immaculate hair
And clean skin
Barely covered by lingerie
The secluded
And beautiful background.
When you’re covered
In dirt and sweat
And it’s 9 pm
But you haven’t had dinner
Because the stove won’t work
And you’re tired
Because you stayed up
Late last night
Gazing at stars;
That’s my kind of sexy.
:iconteen-wolf:Teen-wolf 1 0
Three Sentences
It seems I am unable to write anything longer than three sentences.
Perhaps that is best.
:iconteen-wolf:Teen-wolf 0 0
Utility Closet
Utility Closet
Is where the boogie is.
When the brooms dance
And the mops cease their
Perpetual weeping.
:iconteen-wolf:Teen-wolf 0 0
Innocent Murmur :iconteen-wolf:Teen-wolf 0 2
The Antiques Dealer
       In the middle of the night, the antiques dealer packed everything up and left in his old 1992 Mazda van, with the grease stains on the passenger seat he knew so well.  He headed north, because there was more room there, as if he was as large as Paul Bunyan, and his van was Blue (it was actually a dark green, with a faded tan two-tone paint).  He traveled up into Canada, into the Great Plains, selling things here and there to pay for gas and food (he would only eat German cuisine).  He settled down for a week in a small drifter town in northern Saskatchewan, where he met a blond-haired, blue-eyes waitress at Hofbrauhaus, breaking her heart when he left, but opening her up to the next wandering soul (whom she would marry and live happily with until she died at 83).  The antiques dealer continued north, avoiding Alaska, but going deeper into the Northern Territories.  It was much harder to find Ger
:iconteen-wolf:Teen-wolf 1 0
Mature content
Every Night :iconteen-wolf:Teen-wolf 0 5
Dad :iconteen-wolf:Teen-wolf 0 0
Dreams of Rags
     A knock of evil and bane sounded from the door.  A woman of middle age, with her skirt a dull gray color came to the door and opened it, expecting to see her friend.  But her friend was not there.  A tall, broad-shouldered man stood in the doorway, his black trench coat seeming to suck out all light from outside.  He wore a black bowler hat.  He spoke in a gruff, neutral tone.
     "Is this the house of John Naviero?"
     "Why yes it is, I am his wife, Emily." The woman said, trying not to let her voice quaver.
     "Good." the man said.  With that, he produced a revolver and shot Emily.  Emily's eyes widened with shock.  A sigh escaped her lips, and she fell down to the dirt floor, blood staining her dull gray skirt.  The man stepped inside, ignoring the dead woman.  He looked aroun
:iconteen-wolf:Teen-wolf 0 0
Becoming A Man
Don’t smile.
Don’t do it.  I see those teeth.
Don’t smile.
Don’t talk.
You waste words.
Think every word you mean to say through.
Do you really mean it?
Don’t talk.
Don’t smile.
Women smile.
You are not a woman.
You must provide for your family.
Smiling does not help in a job interview.
You need to look serious, look like you know what you’re doing.
Because you will.
Don’t smile.
Don’t talk.
Greet passing people with a nod of your head.
Take off your hat to women.
Do not smile.
Do not talk.
A woman is the most precious possession you will ever have.
Guard her.
You have that weight on your shoulders.
Do not smile.
Do not talk.
If you talk you cannot hear, and therefore, cannot learn.
You must learn how to support your future wife and family.
Don’t talk.
Don’t smile.
Talking is wasting words.
Smiling is wasting emotion.
Don’t smile.
Don’t talk.
:iconteen-wolf:Teen-wolf 0 0
I have a Condom in my Wallet
I have a condom in my wallet.
I put it there
After the nerd handed it to me
Saying Dude,
I've got like fifteen of these,
You can have it.

It scared me.
Its ring-shaped body
Would pinch me every time
Parents or teachers
Walked by.
It ran in circles
In my mind,
And every time
It lapped my slow wits
I would reach down and
Touch it.
It soothed me
That ring shape.
Yet everywhere I went
I saw the condom in
A clock
Or a cookie.
I was caught
In a circle of sex
Where abstinence was
The low-fat salad
And lust was the
Chocolate cake.
It's hard to be
When your
Hormone-infested body
Wants warm and sweaty
I've gotten used to it.
Used to the continual
Circles of desire
And the sex scenes
That I used to skip.
And for the condom
In my wallet
That I put there
After the nerd handed it to me,
One thing rings true.
In the future,
I will use it.
And that ring
Will be cast away
And replaced
With a different kind.
:iconteen-wolf:Teen-wolf 0 0

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Bowen "Bones" Humphreys
Artist | Literature
United States
Current Residence: Utah, USA
Favourite genre of music: All of them.
Operating System: Mac
MP3 player of choice: iPods all the way.
Wallpaper of choice: Minimalistic
Personal Quote: In retrospect, that was stupid.
  • Listening to: We Still Kill The Old Way- Lostprophets
  • Reading: Blood Meridian, Cormac McCarthy
I just moved my profile to a new one, ~MySurvivingBones, to mirror my own expansion and maturation.

Also, I'm 19, nearly 20, and I just don't think that Teen-wolf would fit with me when I turned 32.  Just say'n.

That being said, thank all you anonymous people for 1,111 pageviews!  I will most certainly be updating popular artwork, poetry, and prose to the new profile.

Also, since I have a new scanner, even more artwork, of the good kind, will be updated to my new profile.  it'll be bigger, better, and .... burlier?  Yeah, whatever.  Anyways, go check it out!


Add a Comment:
xXAnsiXx Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2009  Student Interface Designer
thank you for your comment and for the :+fav:
i'm glad that you like my gallery :happycry:
KarolinaNoumenon Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2009  Professional Digital Artist
Thanks for the watch!~
Teen-wolf Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2009   Writer
No problem: I admire your style!
sp00kish Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2008
thanks for the favs, watch, and VERY sweet comment... it's nice people like you that make me continue to upload stuff when i feel under, em , appreciated. thank you so much.
Teen-wolf Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2008   Writer
I try. Things like this make me keep writing, drawing, and living. ^^
Domi7788 Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2008
Thanks for the :+fav: ;) .
LittleLottexo Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2008  Hobbyist Writer


Thank you, Gracias, Merci, Grazie, Dankie, Basimta, Sukran, Blagodaria, Tak, Hvala, Dekuji, Dank U zeer, Danke, Efharisto, Mahalo, Köszönöm, Þakka þér fyrir, Terima kasih, Moteshakeram, Arigato, Kamsa hamaida, Paldies, Achu, Nani, Takk, Salamat, Dziekuje, Obrigada, Spasiba, Nuhun, Ahsante, Tack, Rahmat, Kam ouen, Diolch :rose:

RainbowKawaii-ness Featured By Owner May 29, 2008
tank u alot forthe fav ^^
Teen-wolf Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2008   Writer
The art is good. You're welcome!
Mitjitsu Featured By Owner May 1, 2008
Thanks for the favorite :3
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